Pace is picking up at work. I have a full next week. Will take my mind off why work is no longer as fun as before. I still like what I do but well...I have lamented why before. Not gonna go there again. Will get really agitated & visualise the face before me making me so want to puke & be downright rude (read : potty mouth). lol.

Lunch was a BLT sandwich with foccacia bread....haven't had that in a while. So it was good. In the evening, headed to arab street to get the baskets for press conf & then home as it was already past 5. I am looking for the old fashioned coconut candy in small blocks in colours of green, yellow, pink to put in the baskets as giveaways. Am told may still have in chinatown so must make a trip there. Maybe tmr for lunch though I should do it off my lunch break & definitely not on my personal time after work or on a weekend. I didn't think this way before & wasn't calculative. I'd go the extra mile & more. But now... screw it !

Lament for the day : Screw it !

Yep yep hubby came home with a shitload of fish ! The group caught an estimated 500kg. Got lots of Garoupa lah, coral trout, leather jacket lah. Gave away to our entire floor of neighbours & they were happy. Not the first time we give them fish fresh from the oceans. So much so that one of the neighbours bought us yummy swiss roll cakes from Kandahar Street. Gave each neighbour 2 or 3 fish, gave godparents some & we still got alot for ourselves. There was one 3kg muther kerisi bali & the bladdy head/tail stuck out of our freezer compartment door. This one hubby gave away to a friend, let him de-scale lah, de-gut lah & clean the fish LOL. Too much work lol.

Some huge ones & some table sized. There was a part of a chinaman fish (??????) hubby brought home...it was portioned out to share with his other fishing kakis. BUT one kaki called & warned that becos the fish eats coral, can have poisonous elements. So we were told to throw away lor.

Took leave yesterday & half day today. Did some errands, Cora's work permit extension etc, went to see a friend who was in hospital & had heart sugery to repair a leaking artery. His wound was all the way from below the throat down to the belly. Just like a bypass. But he is being discharged & looks well.

Oh watched Hairspray. John Travolta in drag was really funny. One huuuge mama ! The voice cannot run though. Fun movie. Enjoyed the music even though singers & the acting not so fantastic. No need to think so much, just sit back & relax type. Got a bit of morale in the story also.

Note to Lica : see...I don't just watch gory movies :p

Hubby is out of town fishing ! Back Sunday.

Work is still so-so & I do so want to get out. When opportunities arise & when the time is right, I will. The heart & passion has fizzled out all becos of one person. Oh trust me, it ain't petty. When integrity is questioned especially when one has not done any wrong, it farking sux ! As far as I am concerned, my integrity is intact with all the proof. I now know how others in the same boat feel. Actually the whole situation is ridiculous & smacks of desperation...the other party lah.

What is that phrase ? When you point one finger at someone, don't forget the other 3 fingers point back at yourself. The thumb doesn't work if you are wondering why only 3 fingers point back lol. The thumb is to stick up the ass lololol.

Lament for the day : Dunno who is playing games leh.

It has been a bad weekend thus far. Last night I felt such a dull ache in my heart. Wretched & wrenching. And I am not feeling any much better today. No desire to do anything useful or meaningful.

Even more pathetic is that I am re-reading half blood prince & watched the harry potter series all over again today. Just to keep my mind off things.

Work is so-so. It has degenerated to be described in such meagre terms. Sadly all becos of the one.

Lament for the day : Shitty...just that one word.

Hmm no laffing matter...poor baby. Sarah fell down. There is a small drain along the pathway & for some stupid reason, the grating was removed. Right in the middle of a pathway ?? wtf ?? Her whole left leg went in. No broken bones, at least I dun think so. Glad she didn't hit her head or face.

Thing is her sense of humour hasn't abated. Told us she fell infront of 2 schoolboys who helped her up...said they were quite cute too lol. Well the boys have a story to tell...hey this IJ girl fell for us...right at our feet ! Oh, the boys were very responsible, they covered the drain with the grating. Good going boys ! Offered to stay with sarah for a bit but she told them no need. Think she wanted to cry but not infront of them. If I were her I also dun wan to cry infront of 2 cute guys...or would I ??? Can't even remember being 15 how to remember what I would do bleah !

Doc says its her ligament, thankfully no fracture so no need for x-ray. 2 days MC & then no PE or bowling till end next week. If not better then have to extend the excuse. Ligament is no joke cos I have a ligament problem with my knee. Can't bowl cos its the left balance knee & going down the stairs pull & little sharp pains. Old age also plays a part. bleah !!

Done re-reading HP & the order of the phoenix. No wonder I didn't enjoy the movie. Want to re-read half blood prince. lol must be in this mood for potter. Potty for potter lol.

Meeting was fine, no hitches. Everyone was in a good mood. After that spent too much time answering emails...ugh. Its such a drag but I still do what I am paid to do & do it properly. Whatever it is, I still take pride in doing work well. Perhaps the passion has lessened a tat but oh well. Not gonna give anyone reason to bitch. But it is still a drag.

what did I say before ? I am having a bad day & I'm not even PMsing LOL.

Lament for the day : Go for meeting feel guilty cos of sarah....dun go meeting, may kena poked by some people.

Met with simon, evon & godson clovis last night for dinner in an amk coffeeshop. Decided not to go to botak jones. Maaan ! My godson sure can yell lol ! He has started walking & after dinner, let him walk around for abit. He was hurtling so fast I was afraid he would fall. His dad said "wait till he starts to run" and sarah said "this not running meh ?" lolol.

Made two trays of shepherd's pie & I tray of apple crumble for sarah's mustard seed meeting. Fortunately one of the girls brought pasta otherwise may not have been enough. Cos sarah said the members would be bringing something & then she told a couple of them no need cos enough food. Well it was just nice, thankfully. They did say pie & crumble was nice...what nice people they are LOL. Hubby made his famous lime juice but the limes had no kick today leh...dunno why. Added more than usual some more.

Watched Robin Hood Men in Tights on cable this afternoon...lame lolol.

Sarah had another article in catholic news, small one on the harry potter series. She mentioned family in the article...sweet.

Meeting evon, simon & my godson for dinner tomorrow ! Gonna try botak jones again. Wonder if we will have to wait an hour again...??? Ohhhh the cheesecake there is gooooood !!

Lament for the day : maybe can start own business selling shepherd's pie & apple crumble instead of dragging my feet ???

Can't say that I enjoyed watching HP & the order of the phoenix. The book was better. The fighting scene was good but not much else. I am re-reading the book because the movie seems disconnected. To refresh my memory & cos I haven't got any other books to read for now. Am done with China Wakes.

The latest HP book is good though. And when it is made into the movie, I am wondering how it can be condensed to just a little over two hours. Can't cut stuff out as there are many connections to past books and introduction of new stuff.

Think its the best book...JK keeps the best for last. I was particularly touched by that little humanity in Snape. I always had a feeling he wasn't all bad, just misunderstood or deliberately wanted to be misunderstood. I wonder if there will be a continuation as the ending in the book seems to invite it.

Oh...Die Hard 4.0 wasn't that fantastic also. Fun to watch the action but quite unrealistic. Entertaining but not on my list of must watch.

Bought DVDs of Apocalypto & 300. Seen both on the big screen already but wanted to watch again. Those I would highly recommend !

Lament for the day : drag drag draaaaaaag...

Met up with Vic for lunch last week. Grumbled to him. Then he meets another old friend for lunch & puts her in touch with me. Was great to hear from yin. But a couple of days later, her mum passed away. It was cancer & they were expecting it. We went to pay our respects. The kids hadn't seen yin in 4 years & she said she wouldn't be able to recognise them as they have grown.

Sometime ago, I spoke about meeting old friends. And so I did with yin & some others at Matt's. I asked about john whom we used to affectionately call mahjohn. They told me where his shop was & what it was called.

Mahjohn cos some 20 years ago we used to pass time playing mahjong. We started off playing with no money & could do it over night lol. Then we graduated to 5 cents / 10 cents lolol. It was just a friendly game amongst friends rather than to hang out at pubs or clubs. We didn't have much money to go clubbing anyway lol.

Anyway I did a search online fo his shop & called. he recognised my voice...amazing ! Hadn't seen him in about 10 years ! Anyway we have met up a couple of times since two weeks ago. Got re-acquainted with his wife whom I met a couple fo times before long long ago & met his two pretty daughters. One of them ryan's age & the other is just in P1. Meeting up again this Friday.

My godson has started to walk !!!!!!!!! Hubby saw him last night & we will be meeting up with them over the weekend.

Sarah has a tale to tell about her new nokia N76. It sux ! She bought it on a Wednesday & it started to act up. Would go off on its own & would not be able to read memory card, contacts & battery life faded real quick. So off we go to nokia care centre on the saturday. One day later, told to pick it up. After she got home, same problem. So off to nokia again. After one day collected it back. But same shit happened. So daddy goes off to make noise ! Says this is the 4th time they were back & if they had to keep it a week, please go ahead to solve the problem. Keep saying nothing wrong. But who is going to compensate for the time to go there & parking. Why don't they just exchange one for one. Oh cannot, policy. Fine fix it then ! After a week, they call back & say they have to change motherboard. DUH !!!! At first they said it was sarah's memory card BUT when sarah uses it on ryan's samsung phone got no problem leh.

Lament for the day : I am still dragging my feet...

death & stuff...

To be accused of doing something which I didn't is beyond description ! The best part is that there is evidence of innocence. Like doing this will move me up the ladder. Quite stupid really when you analyse all angles, won't get me anywhere near the friggin ladder lol. It is entrapment. It is a farce. It is trying desperately to dig out something which doesn't exist except in the fanciful imagination of a small narrow mind. Okay lah, smart in wily ways lah I concede lol. Of course I am freakin fuming & upset. Not true maaah, how not to get angry. Ah well...bugger it ! As long as I know I ain't done it...fark it all !

Matt's death hit me some. A couple of things...he is a friend my age & yeah we were dating when we were much much younger. Though I was well aware of how ill he was, it was a shock. I cannot imagine how his family feels & I cannot pretend to know. The thing is that our age, we hear of our friends' parents passing away. For me, it is a first friend who died. It hits me greatly that it can happen to anyone, regardless of age.

I have been thinking of writing a list of what I want when I do die. Whether by accident or of a ripe old age. Sounds so morose & grim but death is a reality. I know I don't want mourning & wailing. Sadness is inevitable but I would like that to be over with quick so that those who are alive and left behind do not go through too much turmoil, regrets & unhappiness. Rather, it should be a celebration that when I die, I am no longer in pain or suffering. That I have lived my life to the fullest, the way I want to, with dignity & integrity. The only regret would be leaving loved ones. But we all eventually will have to leave our loved ones. It is the circle of life, to borrow a phrase. I said to Sarah that for my wake (why is it called a wake ??) I want happy music, the songs which I enjoy. I want bright colours, no mourning clothes & if I can get away with it, wine & beer made available. I be dead so the kids will have to figure out how to work the wine & beer in. Think I will write a letter which can be displayed for all to see that it isn't out of disrespect, but rather respect for my last wishes. Otherwise people think my living family are mad. I'm the nutty one. Sure, let there be some crying. But just a little quick cry & a prayer. Then life should go on.

Lament for the day : it ain't fun anymore...so I drag my feet...